What in gods name happend

Hello all there agian boys and girls. Well to say the least this week and boy did it start out with a bang and what it was was right after i did my video and my written and with chats. But real quick before i get into all of that this is a pic that i thought was really cute so happy moment for a second k. huuuuuummmmmmm llllaaaaaaaa tteeeeeee daaaaaa. but how i usual go about all of the is that i start off with talking about how things are going on with "my interactions with the room mates" Well if i can say something without being Sea... i mean an ass hole Eli did rank #1 in the fucking weird level. I'm not all sure who all saw it but even Nic saw some thing in chat and said "that can't be right" and when he asked me about it I said the truth to how he read it. But on the smaller not to put it down, Monday morn after Tom left i fell back asleep..... and not sure how long he was laying next to me in my fucking bed WATCHING me sleep but no i'm just being mean. This kid was laying next to me waiting for me to wake up so that he could talk to me about the night befor like waiting in another area would of been to much. Univited walked in to a room with closed doors really come on now.

But then to get on what happend with Zac, Jon, and I was just what i think we needed. Well first Jon and i just lost it i guess, i was walking up to my room to do chat and jon thought i was being an ass "which i may have been" but after saying some shit to each other jon said one thing to me that went right to my heart and it was the first time that i could not say anything to him.... i did i walked up the stairs and almost lost it. And to those that were in chat know that once i sat down that i did lose it. Jon means a lot to me and for it to drift like that i just guessed that he got busy with the horses and with work and didn't want to get in the way because evertime that i did talk to him it was getting short and sweet other than during the meetings. But it got to far and we got to far... the statment that was said was that he didn't even know me and i told him that he did and i've not changed and then with daggers it was " Clay you have changed and NO I don't know you " But after a long good chat out of the eye and ear of the house we talked and i let it out and Jon, Zac, and I got on one page and i think that it is going to be a great or shit one HELL of a friendship even after i move out. I love them and for me if they read this or not.......

To Jon and Zac you two are great people and 2 of my bestfriends that i have. I know that you two hear me say that time living here moves really fast so for me to say that we "in our 5 months of living with each other " have had our UP'S and downs like a 5 year friendship and bitches you fuck with me you are stuck with me. My door is open to you like you've opend your door to me.

And also Jon and Tom got some stuff out of the way and that was great for me. I'm not all that sure in what direction it was all going but it was not good because i do love Jon and Tom so much and the fact that on of the reasons that Jon was not talking to me was because of Tom. Thinking that Tom was changing me. And I'll say right now that no I have not changed but people do adapt to someone that they love and I do love Tom but I never wanted it to feel like it was that big of a shift. But during a first part of my chat well before chat Jon and I talked for a little bit and I asked him if he could talk to Tom and get what they need to say out before it festers into that whole I love you but I don't want to be around you with him. From chat and if you were there you heard but Tom and Jon did get some of that out there and I hope that they got a better understanding of each other and of where Tom and I stand and to Tom where Jon and I stand. That is one thing i will say is that I can love my Boyfriend but my friends were here first and if you don't last I know that a friendship never dies....... thank god Tom and I said let be friends. But Jon and I are going out tomorrow night for some MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOJJJJJJJJJJJJIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSS damn right and were leaving our men with eachother cus its a married gurls night out.

But Nic has been doing really well and I was glad to hear that he did make it into the house. He is a down to earth guy and i do like him. One thing I will say and not in a bad way but we need to get that boys drinking level up a bit or he needs stay close to the non drinkers. That is one thing that I will say..... I wish I could get buzzed that fast "I would save a shit load more money." We went to the wine room and had 3oz of wine and then headed over to paradise and met Chazzy and Joe and he had one drink and I know that he was feeling good. One thing that I hope he knows is that I did care about how he was feeling and I did want him to have a good time and that we were not trying to get him shitfaced but just to have fun. But hey with that said he was drinking more or less with the 3 boys that can put that shit down like water " Chazzypoo, JoJo, and Puppy" don't worry Nic you'll be a pro in a heart beat if you stick with us.

Work has actually been great as hell, i think now that i've stated what I want and what I want out of it.... i'm not so sure if I want to take the shift from food to retail in a full whole hearted way but working at American Eagle has shown me that it's something that i'm very in love with "well you all see that, as well as Tom which is loveing it" and something that I would love to get into managment at some point. But hey you take it all in stride it is good that i've been with them for 7 months and have not need it as a full time position but have been able to be there when needed because I think right now that I'm getting know in the company what was really cool the other day while I was there is that our D M came in and said hi to me for the first time in "".....----7----....."" months and when I said my name, the first thing that he said is I know the name they "my managers" have said good things about me. Julie..one of my gurls said I love Clay he is the only man on our staff that knows how to fold. But that is going really well, and also with work I do now as of today work for my hubby lol. Yea how funny is this

"" Who is your emergancy contact ... Tom who is your refrance ... Tom may we contact your preasent employer and who do we ask for ... Tom

lol I just still think that it's funny buy hey cool in all its something to keep me bussy and working which I think was said as a truth, yes I know that it's not been a shit load of hours and when I do work it's not long shifts "thank god because trust me I know what long shifts are" but I'm one of the cbl boys that has been employed outside of the house the entire time of living here.

But everything is a lot better now and I can't wait to see how it all goes and the way that it will go now and after. But hey we have to stop somewhere so just saying this. You all know that I did put some time in this one to write it because yes the last few have been a bit off and didn't understand why I was putting so much of my heart in it but now I do know that it is for you all and that you do read.

So once I'm done living here at this house I'll be printing out my pages and I'll be making a book out of it and when you want I'll be at barns and noble to do my book signing and I hope that you can all make it becuse it will be a limited edition lol oh come on you know I had to put that in there. Love you all and I hope that you've all had a good read and wait for next week because hey you never know what's going to happen,,,,, God that's when I do feel sorry for Jon and Zac I've not know what's been going on for the last 5 months and they live here, I would of been bald by now. Lol

Love

Clay

aka

Puppy