THE FINAL ONE

Well everyone that has seen all of these you should know that they take on a life on their own and something always happens different. Well what i have to say is that this is one thing that i did not see coming. This 7 months has been a long one and once your living in the doors you really don't see how long it really is but hey here is something that does happen...... Reality and for most it may not seam real but it does happen it does not last forever.

To go and get things started ummmmmmm lets start with Tom. Things are great and never better. Time here with Tom has made us really good and has an imprint on our lives. Today is the start to an end if you get that. And more or less other than starting our lifes together that is all that i will say because for the first time this is something i can keep for myself, kisses Tom.

and then to go on a bit with life around with things around the house. Well more or less we still have a Squatter well never mind i guess that he is in the house i guess and moves in tomorrow. Sorry i will say right now that it's not that i don't like the kid but he already tried to hit on me once at AE before i even knew him. Then comes in the house and lays on my bed and welcomes himself for an extended time unwanted.... and then made a small unknowing pass at my boyfriend sorry if i seam a bit stand off-ish then put yourself in my shoes k thank you.

Now with Zac.... boy i love you and thank you so much for everthing that you have given me and this has ment a lot to me. I've made a lot of really good friends and long lasting and i've also met a really great guy and got to learn a lot about through this and i thank you very much. I know that in our past there has been really good times and sometimes where i was not so great. But know that i still love you and its been really great.

Jon to let you know i love you and this will not be the end and your ass better call me that is all that i need to say. I know that your really busy and that somtimes we won't get to do the things that we want to do. But hey sometimes that is life and don't let that be the downfall to a great friendship. You have ment alot to me and have been one of the best firends that i've met in orlando.... thank you...

Nic you'll always have a friend in me and know that please take that for what it is becauase sometimes you don't always get that and know that is genuine and i think that is about all that i can say.

To fallen boys in my time lets see if i can count...... Nick, Robb, Mike, Chad, David that i can remember and wow let me just say wow. That is a lot of people that did not make it ummm more or less yea have fun and have a good life.

Well life is life and it goes on and i'm really not sure what more to say other than have a good one and if you want to know more wait and see and ask when you see me again like a normal person lol kisses have a good day and have a nice life talk to you all later.

Kisses

Love

Clay

aka

just Clay

Holly AE'ed out lol "not"

Well everyone it has been one more week here in the house of cbl and yes time actually still goes fast and there is not a lot that you can do about it right, just get on and ride so to speak. One thing that i have to say is that I'm very happy with Tom and it is hard to belive that we have been together for 4 months and were still going strong. I do think that at times this environment can be a bit hard and if you can withstand it and talk it out then it will all be okay. And something that i want to put here right now is this lol

ALL HAIL OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FAT ONE lol sorry i had to put this this is tigger aka tig tig Toms cat he is just the cutest thing and when i say that he has adopted me he truly has see that is my leg and he does not leave that side lol EVER.

But now on to things that are going on in the house, it seams as Seth has gotten back to days of old and is having an even better time now that he is 21 and can drink and not get in trouble if is out at a bar, and seams to go out a lot with Jon. We hear that there was drama at a Pleasure Island night. Apparently Chase confessed his love to Jonathon in the parking lot at the end of the night and they all wanted to go back in for more drinks but Chaz didn't want to. However, they ended up seperating from him and left him behind so he had to walk ALL the way home since he didn't have a cell phone to call anyone. Let me first tell you.....that is NORMALLY a 30 minute drive from the CBL house....so you can imagine how long that walk was!!! So I feel for that. Apparently then Chase was told to leave the house after confessing his love, then the CBL house was considering getting him psychiatric help as I hear. Well, all I have to say is..."Polish a turd...it's still a turd!"

So then there is Peter leaving. Well, I wasn't totally sure but apparently he never signed his contract pending Mavericks visit cause they weren't sure which direction he was going to be taking.....clearly he decided!! I hope everything works out for them, Mav seems like a great guy. I didn't get all that much time to spend with him, but he seems real.

Nic....love the boy. We hung out playing darts a few times this week. He is STILL beating me, but mark my words...I will get him! He is very good. I really do wish him the best in finding a job. I hope he knows that he has an open invite to escape at Tom and I's place if he ever needs to, cause I know how it is when you get caught up in the CBL bubble and have no outlets. Luckily I have had AE to get away and Tom's place.

Zac and Jon are so busy little bees, it's hard to follow them what with the beer tap, new farm and everything else. But all is good.

So Wednesday Tom and I went for a day of beauty. We both got our hair cut and next time we will go will be right before the cruise. My hair will be long enough then to get highlights, I can't wait to get them again!! So after that we headed out to Universal to ride the new "Simpson's" ride. It was really COOL!!! It is a virtual ride that you are on a roller coaster as Krusty'sideshow Bob is destroying it. You end up all over the place and it is like 4D too. So if you ever get to Universal, you have to check it out. But I am not gonna tell you anymore, cause that would ruin it for ya!

The biggest thing that happened to me this week is that I WORKED at AE A LOT!! I ain't complaining, cause I could REALLY use the extra cash! Going on this trip, I really want to be able to help pay for things for Tom and I, it would really make me happy to be able to do that. I want to be able to pay for the Extra things on the ship since he paid for the cruise itself. So whoever is able to help with donations, it would mean a lot to me. This cruise is going to be like a celebration of the new start to our relationship, and I think you all understand what I mean by that.

So boys, there is only one more entry that I will be doing after this. I hope you all have truly enjoyed getting to know about my life and experience it with me. I have poured my heart into these diaries and have considered turning them into a novel and seeing if it can make it to hardback, lol!! But seriously, I have enjoyed taking the time to tell you about what I have been doing and hope that you have enjoyed the reading and getting to know me along the way!! Stay tuned this week, Who knows what's going to happen!!!

Love

Clay

aka

Puppy

As the end comes, life restarts

Well hello all once again and yet one more week goes by and things seam to be getting to where i think they should be.... and what i mean by where they should be is think for a moment and try to think of a life lived on camera and then to go right off of camera. It seams that the normal balance is starting to come into place, but hey you all know what i say "define normal".

But to go ahead and get things started.... I'll start with Tom, things are great and yea we have our tiffs about some things and i think that is good because every relationship is going to have them. What i think that is really good with ours is that were able to talk about it and get to that understanding of why we feel the way we do and then come to "what i think is a compromise because it's not really a compromise" good place and get over the small stuff, and see the bigger picture...... us. So i can be more than happy to say that my life with Tom is going to be good and long i truly am happy that he has come into my life and that I'm really happy that i ran after his ass since last October.

On a work note that is really cool AE is still going really well it seams that i may get a more set time of being there. Because it seams like a new door may have opened up. Funny you say or ask lol it's the Olive Garden lol, yea remember when i was going through all that mess about i would say 3 months ago trying to get a job in winter park and the Olive Garden was telling me to come back for interviews and hey we'll check up on it and we really need people and all that jazz and then more or less didn't hear from them again, well it's not the same one "thank god" because i don't think that the management staff there had it quite right. Although the Olive Garden that i applied at the mall parking lot of the mall that i work in about 7 months ago it seams like that is about 90% that i may have a job after i leave CBL. One of the guys that works there works at starbucks who is a manager at starbucks is also a trainer at Olive Garden. Well needless to say when you see someone just about 3 to 4 times a week and you start to chit chat and get to know someone you learn stuff. Well i found out that they were going to be doing some hiring in a few weeks and he told me to fill out an app and he had known that i served before. So went and did that and he told me the day that i filled it out that the manager was out but that he was going to hold on to my app and hand it to him and tell him about me. So hey thats why i say 90% that i got well hope that i get the job. Some things with AE I'm just not sure about going in full with right now, and most of that will come with time. Like actually know more behind the cash and wrap and more product knowledge then i think I'll peruse AE a little bit more. But for now i think that one of the jobs that i know how to do is sever and just get a lot more time under my belt with AE because i don't think i'll ever truly leave AE till management staff hits the fan because i love my bosses and i love my job.

But that is for everything to come, everything that is going on in the house is great. Zac is getting the house ready for an AA meeting by putting in a beer tap and soda gun, and then in time there is this really cool machine that actually pours alcohol drink with just the push of a button. Hey in the long run it's going to pay for it's self, because when you think about how much Jon goes through soda and how cheep it is to just get the bag in a box and CO2 and just have it go that way.... Zac is actually saving a bundle. So he has been really busy with all the work and set up to take care of that. Chaz has made his way back to the Orlando house and Tj has made his way down to the Tampa house "i'm not mad at that" and I guess that Tj is going to be the house manager of the Tampa house don't ask me i'm not all that sure but i just wonder how long it will be before his welcome is fully out. I'm not really sure how its all going to work out but i hope this switch is for the best.

Everything with the room mates is still going swell, ha lol when was the last time you heard swell. Seth was dealing with some bugs eww and it seams that it is getting better, i don't think i got it and i pray that i didn't but it's just when i think about it i start to itch and yea well i'm just going to rest on the fact that i've not had much contact with the other boys enough to catch it scabies that is. Seth is also trying to get back into school and i hope that it all works out for him. Peter is working now as well ha how do you like that every "boy" in the house is at least 21 or over and everyone is working or a student that is a first in a long time right. But looks like work for him is going to be taking up his evening time Monday through Friday and at least he is getting paid well, from what he tells me.

Nic is still a sweetheart and is bouncing around from trick to trick lol in a good way. He has taken a shine to savoy and to paradise quite well. I would say paradise for the low volume of people and for the darts there, and then to savoy for the dancers and darts, because we all know that boy has more than 2 drinks and he is down for the count. Other than that i would have to say that he is a good guy and just needs to make some friends in Orlando and then it really could be a new home for him.

But as all goes on things are still going really well and yes the time is coming to an end it's still hard to think that i came to this house last October did some amazing trips and had a lot of fun met really great people and found someone i could spend a long time with. funny to think the direction life can take you and what paths you take to get to where you are. All i can ask is that everyone doesn't forget me. Till then as i always say be sure to stick around because you never know what is going to happen and in the blink of an eye it will all change.

Love

Clay

aka

Puppy

Weak after the storm

Well hello all once agian to yet one more week here at cbl. Well to say after the party we had a friend stay over and then we decided that we needed a day at universal. It was a lot of fun because the ride that you see in the back is a ride that i had yet to do and Tom failed to mention that you get soaking wet on it no matter what and as sure as shit where did i go but then right up front. But in some ways that was a good thing because my shoes did not end up wet. I know what your asking why was i wearing shoes and not sandels?........ Well you walk around universal for a few hours in sandels and see if your dog arn't barken.So this is a picture of Tom, Zach, and myself soaking wet after riding the water ride. It was really cute because Zach got really into paying 25 cents to soak people even more. I would say about the only thing that sucked about this ride.. see the sun yea that was the last time that we saw it to. Because we figured hey ride the ride and then let the sun dry us off, and whenever i do stuff like that it seams that i alwayse gets dark and cold so i was running aroung the park soaking wet trying my best to warm up.

But a few of the rides that we got to go onto were the hulk "still one of the ones i love to do "at night is a lot more fun. Then spiderman but that is one of their signature rides so it really can't be slow or dumb, and i still feel dumb at the end of the ride because it feels so real that i still close my eyes and to anyone that has ridden it no i don't not have a fear of hights it just feels like i'm going to hit lol. The we rode the duling dragons wich is alwayse fun when you watch it looking at the ground. Then we rode the jarassic park ride which we got a picture it was funny "the one that the ride takes" and then other than that we just walked around and people watched. We didn't get to do a lot because we were under a one park pass that day but hey you take what you can get and we still had a lot of fun.

But everything that is going on in the house right now is still at it's pace and some bumps along the way and i'm not really sure how this is going to work out but it just seams that there may be to much drama with the whole Seth and Nic thing. I told Seth that maybe that should be a hint to not to try anything with a guy named Nic or Nick lol however you want to look at it. And then with Peter and Seth being in the house and there may be an app that will come to take my place that knows the house and used to be around back in the days and knows about the house, i some what feel for Nic. It's like he is in this somewhat alone and has no way to deal, the boy knows that tom and i care and that there is a door open when he needs some air but hey then again he can just get on his bike a ride around town.

I do think that having a job is inportant to have a job while living here. I've been at AE for my stay here and even as Zac says it is good to have that life away from here and know other people outside of the house and hey even if you don't tell some people about where you live that it may work out better because then at least you get to establish a life outside. Scott and Brandon have been a big help to me as well, being able to go hang out with them when i need a sister or a brother and having them be able to get me because they have known me for so long. The main true friends that i do have in orlando.

And yea i know i'm not sure if i could beat a dead horse any more than what i have when i say that i love Tom and he has truly made me really happy. Being together for three months in gay life is like 6 and then when you put it in the cbl time it feels like we have been together for a year. We have learnd so much with eachother is a short period of time and i can only hope that it doesn't stop. Our open communication good or bad is one thing that has helped and beging able to just be ourselfes and eachothers friend.

As far as the other room mates go there is not a lot that i can put down that you guys havn't seen. I still love my boys Peter, Seth, Nic, Jon, and Zac. And as my days wind down i think that more so Zac than anyone may be reading me wrong or even Jon. And it's not so much that i'm ready to go it's like i'm just ready to start life again. And not like this isn't life but i think that we can all agree that were no on camera just about 24 hours a day. And just somethings that i would like to have to myself agian is what i'm ready for. To build that something more and see how that story is going to end. I do still thank Jon and Zac for giving me the chance to live here and to get to meet some really awesome people and get some really good friendships and i think that you guys know who you are. And to Jon even if that diva thinks that i'm leaving here she's got another thing coming to her. Girl your in my heart and in my life there is a few amount of people that you come across in life and i think that our corssing was for a reason "fate" but hey it's how you read into right.

But as the days do wind down and a light of yet one more cbl boy is about to be put out i do pass that on to the new comer and hope that you can have the best time here with some really good friends of mine

So till next week i hope you all enjoyed the read and i'll see you all later

Love

Clay

aka

Puppy

party time

Hey all it has been one more week here at the house of cbl and yes i'm still alive. Time is still going a bit fast because when you think about it Nic has been here for damn near a month. Seth and Peter are back in the house for almost a Bit over a month Zac and Jon are still here way to long but hey what can you do when you live here and it's you life. Zachyboi is here, And last night was the first party ever in CBL for CBL wow.

Well needless to say everything is still moving on in a glacial pace and not much has changed. With every one in the house is still good. Jon is still good and but his neck is getting to him a little bit of a pain in the ass but i hope that he gets through that soon because he got released to ride his horses and he is really happy with that because if you all know Jon he loves his babies and he loves to ride. Last night we got it to a bit of a tiff and I think that was because it was just a lot going on and he was on nevers ends and I just said a few wrong to many things but hey that is me and I'll still love my Jon and after last night when i got back to the house and he was drunk i think that he was ok and he got over it and then he puked and then he was all over the house and then Jon was playing peek-a-boo with my feet under the bathroom door with my feet. and that was even before we carried him around the house because he wanted us to hold him and didn't want to walk i.e. Tom and I. And then one more thing i think now Jon knows how "big Tom is" yea now i have to say it right now jon grabbed my boyfriends dick and rubbed but you know what i love the boy so it's my baby and that does not happen all the time and what was even better about it is that he sobered up and then we told him about it lol.

Real quick from my boo boo i need him to talk through me because it's been a fun night and we are both so happy that we got to see each other. Zach has a lot of emotions about being around here and he has been really happy that he got some time off from work and got to go to the Disney state "gods waiting room" and have some fun........."and it's not done yet" And Clay and i had a really good heart to heart at Toms softball yesterday it was a lot of tears "all Clays and not mine" but i was the shoulder that was there. And one of the first times in my life without pretending i was myself how i really wanted to be and i was really happy, and i thank Tom and Clay for that.

And life is grand and everything is still good. Zac is still Zac, but something is telling me with the party was a lot of work and it didn't seam like everything was told or asked how it needed to be like hedge triming and not being asked. I was a bit ticked off because i'm a person that if you tell me ahead of time then it's really not all that bad and if it something that i want to help out with i will say it then but hey work is work and my baby Jon and ...........umm......... Tj did clean the house for us and will say this is that i was the only one that said thank you for it. because they didn't have to and i was happy so i may have had it wrong becauase it was all in stride and the work that i did was nothing compared to what Jon and ........umm........... Tj did. LOVE YOU GUYS KISSES.

There is one more thing that i will say and this is all for my girl KIXYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i love you so much and getting to see you and talk with you omg gurl and you know that it was right and you know what i got " you know " and GMax kisses i love that you guys were all here and it made my night a lot better and one other thing was a lot of fun as well and i think that was when we were throwing beeds of the top deck and we damn near had people killing for it lol.

but really not a lot has gone on and it is still moving at the same pace I do love you all and stay around for more because in the walls of cbl you never know what is going to happen.

Love
Clay
aka
Puppy

Que it up

"It actually looks like i'm holding it lol"

Well one more week is down and well to say the least time is still flying by today is the 6th of April and wow. To say it like this I've been living in Orlando for one year Mar 28th I started work April 3rd, was out of a two year relationship, was a couch buddy for 6 months, worked as a bartender, server, !!!!AE!!!!, Pizza place, and was even a gogo boy. And then ended up living here actually to date if it is marked when i first started coming around the house today just about every night untill i signed would be 6 months right now and a few days. Got into a great relationship and i'm only here for one more month. Only 4 or 5 entries left, well its how you look at it, i'm here till may 11 and that is a sunday so i think that i'll do a good bye one to everyone more than an entrie about my life because if you ask me "not to be mean" but what more don't you all know :).

Living here for 6 months i can say that you do learn alot about yourself and you do get to know a lot about the people that you talk to and that you live with. Some near misses with some freaks "Eli" and some weird chatters, but hey what is life like without our nuts right. But with all of that it's still really hard to believe that i've lived here for a year it just seams like yesterday i was leaving wyoming. That was hard to start with because i was driving to MD with a guy that i had been with for 3 months. But the time seamed right and it was something that i needed to do because if you sit around waiting then your going to watch your life go right past you. And that is something that if your from cheyenne wy it could verry well happen. I can remember someone that i worked with i ran across before i left wy and she kindof laughed and said have fun you'll be back in a month. That town has this invisible rubber band that tends to snap people back and its really a town that you grow to love. But that was something that gave me just a bit of a drive to not return just to prove it wrong. And then was in MD for 2 years and now i am here. For 23 years of living i can say that if something unfortunate should happen to me tomorrow i can say that i've lived a verry interesting life. I've been out of the country 2 times i love snowboarding and having my own little adventures i've had a blast and have done a lot of things that most people don't get or have a chance to do.

But now that were back to square one things in the house seam to be going a lot better. The other night we "the boys" and tom just sort of hung around the house and was awake till about 4ish just bull shitting and that was a lot of fun. Seth and Peter seam to be doing well with WoW but when arn't they lol. Got to admire that it's really funny to think that you could actually make a living off of selling the gold, really something that i need to look into. Nic seams to be settled in the house finally and that is good. He has been looking for some work and i hope that he gets it i think it was at apple. Jon just over a bad cold or strep or something and he has been feeling a lot better now so i'm happy for that. Zac has been back from his trip to Phonix the porn convention and it seams as though it went really well we got some extra sties i hear so chat numbers have been up and hey that is always good for the buisness.

Tom and I have been really getting into pool a lot more now. Like way more than normal and what is really funny about it, is that were a lot better on regulation tabels then we are on bar tabels. Now when you think about it bar tables are a lot smaller and we can actually make the shots on the longer tabels hence wise that is why this one is titled Que it up. We both want to get a lot better on how to do better english and placement because if i've learned one thing its not all about the shot that you take it's about where you leave the ball for your next shot. And to actually learn the game and the rules. Also one other thing that i found out is one of the pool halls that we go to that they have a free entrie to playing texas holdem and then it turns into a tournment type deal. So i'll be looking into doing something like that because it is something that i do enjoy. One craving that i've had is to go out on the sterling cruse or just a casino boat because it's a lot of fun it's not that far away and hey it's free to get on just depends on how much you want to spend. I did it once and i only went on the boat with like 80 bucks and got to play for the whole day had a really nice buzz and walked off with 20 but hey for getting on for free for the whole morning.

Well here it is once more not a whole lot that has gone on this week so just still pacing it day to day, work is still going well and yea lol that is about it. So thanks for stopping by and i'll see you all next week.

Love

Clay

aka

Puppy

Every thing is back to normal "somewhat"

Well everyone it has been one more week in the cbl house and man wow how time does fly. Seth and Peter are back in the house, Nic is in the house now, TJ is still squatting but keepin up on that is the hard part. He was in Peters new room, then he was in Nics new room and i guess now he is in the theator room hey that is the first room that i remember seeing him. Tom and I think that we may have ran into a couple that we think were swingers at the pool hall :funny:. It does seam like things are back to normal..... somewhat. Because to be honest if you don't live in a life like this then it's really not normal.

I must say that this one will be a little harder to write because there really wasn't a whole lot that has gone on. It does seam as if the house is getting back into the old ways there has actually been people over at the house the last few nights. Its great in all and i really don't mind but it is something that i would have to say, is that if they get all pumped up for a party or getting people over to the house that i'm not the one to be doing backflips about all of it. And it not something that i'm against it but the random part is what i don't like. When you think of it it's a bit hard to want to be all about when it's never happened or when it happens when i'm not here and walk into it. It was something that i wanted to do and hey it would of been fun but living in orlando for only one year the friends that i've made are not really the people that are all about being in the cam life if you can understand all of that. Out of my friends i am the random one, Actually that is one other thing that i can say, my best girl ever "Scott" his man is going out of town to learn some bar flair near niagra falls i think that is how you spell it but her and i are going to try to have a day. Because if you want to say over worked good god girl, he works at the hotle that i used to work at and it's the 9-5 thing and now also he picks up a lot of nights at the bar and that is something that i think that he goes in around 6ish or 7ish and is either there untill 2am or untill it is dead enough for him to leave. So to say the lesat he does need a bit of full relaxsation.

One thing and i think that some of you know this from when i was talking about it but yea i was a bit down this week about my tooth and yea it sucks and its something that i'm going to have to get over becuase it's done and there is really not a lot that i can do about it. But hey is someone know a great dentist in orlando and is will to help me out big time i won't hold back to anyone say here is where it's at. I was looking up online and i'm not really sure what is the best way to go with but i looking at something like veners i think it is. I'm really not all that sure what more that i could do but because of having soft teeth i think that is just sitting around and waiting right. Wow i'll be 26 and i'll have to have dentures thats the part that sucks and the main hard part about it is i'm not sure what that is going to cost me and yea i don't have insurance and i'm not rolling in the money at AE "yes i do love my job but untill i get to a full time position i'm not really sure what the benifits are there and also to the level of work that i need done.

Really funny with the whole swingers thing was ummmm yea lol just that. Tom and i were at trick shots playing pool and this couple asked us if we wanted to play pool with them so in good humor we did hey might as well see if all the pratice was working. As converstaion got under way Tom ventured off to the bathroom and the other guy did as well Tom said that in the bathroom that the guy stood right next to him "well there was only two urnials" but that he kept on starting at him and this happend twice i think that Tom cought on when the guy followed the second time. And oh yea i went to the laidies room "with the girl joking" and she was all about it "not in the same stall" and then we switched shirts and needless to say her shirt was not a t shirt and she got my black AE shirt the one with the hippy eagle on it so it was fun and weird and i would show you guys the picture but i don't know how to get my pic off my phone lol.

Other than that not a whole long going on and its just another week and it tic tocking away. But love you all and see you all later.

Love

Clay

aka

Puppy